isn't it funny how we keep coming back to xanga. every once in a blue moon i'll find myself curiously wandering through people's xanga pages. wondering if they are as curious as i. wondering if they are still walking with the Lord. wondering if they still exist. xanga was a sweet creation. what started in york seems to have stayed in york. myspace just doesn't compare to the memories within xanga some years ago. york will never be like it once was. the beginning of something wonderful. the ending of something bittersweet. everything happenned there for a reason. nothing was meant to be held back (though there are regrets i'm sure of) for we learned from it all. the fire was unquenchable for God was in the midst of it. He began an amazing work the day i stepped onto british soil and He hasn't given up. some have moved on. some have remained even closer than they were in the closets we called flats. some randomly jot a line or two down, keeping very loose strings with those whom they held so dear. never will we forget these faces. never will we forget these memories. they dwell within us so deep. they are rare moments that were God ordained. i remain grateful for it all.

i have moved on. i can't remember the day i finally let go of my exhausting grip of what my life was in york. there was a point when i realized i needed to release whatever was left of my life there. to press on toward that prize. the prize has come to me in many forms. perhaps it's the church i attend. a church with people who are passionate about their city. about their world. about their Lord. they are not ashamed of the gospel. they are not ashamed to be who they truly are - sinners saved by the grace of Jesus Christ. perhaps the prize is the love of my life (second love that is). a man who shows me a love i have never known before. a man who continuously puts my desires & my comforts before his. a man who loves Jesus and is not afraid to share it. a man i am so completely drawn to...spiritually, emotionally, physically. perhaps the prize is my job. a place where i get to share the love of Jesus through my actions and my words. a place i get to love on people who have been left to die. i place i get to encourage and help people achieve their dreams. i get to be their family. i get to be their daughter. their granddaughter. even their greatgranddaughter. their cheerleader. their friend. my life is nothing that i dreamed it would be...but it's exactly what i have always wanted.

He never ceases to amaze me.....